One whole month, gone!

So, today marks Addelyn's one month birthday! WOW! Time has flown by...in two weeks I will have to go back to work! I am NOT ready for that...so sad. I love my coworkers but it is going to be so hard to leave my baby girl, even though it helps that she will be staying with my mom. I am thankful that I am only going to be working three days a week. That makes my little heart able to take going back to work just a little more easily. I pray that the day comes sooner than later when I will be able to be a full time stay at home mommy.

Things have been a whirlwind, and there has been more "adjustment" during this month than in any other time in my life. During the past weeks I have officially learned what it really means to love more crazily than I ever thought possible, how to be totally sleep deprived and still survive, how to utilize a single baby wipe to its fullest potential, that it isn't possible to kiss a baby too much, that tiny socks are always prone to losing their pair, and I have found that I love watching Rachael Ray's cooking show at 2:00 p.m. every day. :) Oh and when they say, "Sleep when she sleeps!"....it's true! But, I LOVE BEING A MOMMY!!!! There is absolutely nothing like it. Gav and I say every day that we can't believe how much we love this new little person in our lives. It really blows my mind.

On the downhill side, I am still dealing with post-baby belly issues, which was really thrown in my face during a shopping trip to St. Louis that my sister, mom, Addie Kate, and I took last week. I've always hated dressing room mirrors and lighting (they ARE different)...but this past trip was a bit depressing as I tried clothes on. I know, I know, I am only four weeks post-partum, and to be honest I've been pretty fortunate that I am already able to fit into many of my regular clothes (thank you, breastfeeding calorie burning!). However, I am itching to get into the gym soon or at least for the weather to warm up so I can fasten my little Punkin into her stroller and we can go walking at Green Estates. It will be nice to get active again.

I could go on, but there is a little person waking up! More later...

Hello, world

I took this little clip with my phone and sent it to a few people, including the grandparents and aunties. She had just woke up from a nap! Can you hear Gav in the background?? He is determined her first words will be "daddy". He is training her early :)

Addelyn's Birth Story

So, I haven't really taken the time to write out Addie Kate's birth story so....here it is :)

On Tuesday, December 22 I had a doctor's appointment and I was really hoping for some progress because the week before I hadn't been dilated AT ALL. But...I was trying not to get my hopes up. Gav went with me and we were really excited when Dr. Jones announced that I was 2 cm dilated and 70-80% effaced. During some previous visits we had talked about the possibility of induction, so he again asked us if we would like to induce. We agreed that we still wanted to consider it. (By this time I was SO TIRED of sleepless nights and waddling!) We asked him when we could do it, and he said since he doubted we wanted to be in the hospital on Christmas Day, we could induce on the 26th or THAT NIGHT! When he said that, Gav and I looked at each other and I think for a few seconds we were both silent as the reality sunk in that there was a very real possibility our parenthood could be starting SOON. We decided to go ahead and induce that evening, so Dr. Jones called the hospital to expect us later that night and gave us instructions to be at the hospital by 10 p.m. On the front of my patient chart at each visit, there is a little section where he marks what/when the visit should be. I looked over and watched him put a big slash through the whole section. Holy cow. I would NOT be returning to this office as a pregnant woman! CRAZY!

If anyone saw us coming out of the doctor's office, they probably thought we were taking some really good meds, because we were both virtually skipping. Well, more me than Gav. Okay, actually, I take that back entirely....a pregnant woman skipping through a doctor's office is an accident/lawsuit waiting to happen. Anyway, we began calling all of our family to let them know that they would be able to meet our baby girl by the next day! That afternoon and evening we picked up the house, and ironically I started having regular contractions through the afternoon that never went away. They never became painful, just uncomfortable. By the time I had put my bag into the SUV, they were noticeably stronger, but I wrote it off since I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a couple of months.

When we arrived at the hospital, they admitted me and went through all the procedures. I was soon in a hospital gown in one of the labor/delivery rooms hooked to an IV. They started the pitocin around 11:00 and the contractions started getting stronger very soon. Dr. Jones popped in to check on me, and told us he would be spending the night in the hospital because he had several patients there and some surgeries in the morning. He told us to expect to deliver the baby between 10a.m. and 2p.m. the next day. Since the contractions were increasing, I went ahead and got the epidural. My nurse, Jessica, was WONDERFUL through the entire thing...she explained lots of things and involved Gavin a lot. He held me as I got the epidural, which helped so much because by that time the contractions had started to HURT. I felt my legs going numb and the pain got much more tolerable. I am so glad I did not have to look at that needle, it was enough to feel the sensation in my back while getting the epidural! Still, I am SO thankful I had it because through the next few hours, my labor increased really really fast...every time they checked me I had dilated to 3 cm....5 cm....7cm...and finally around 9cm I started to feel a LOT of pain and pressure. They had told me I would be able to feel the contractions, but I didn't expect to feel that much pain, especially in my lower back with every contraction. Things progressed so quickly that they never gave me the little epidural button to push. Darn :) Around 3:00 one of the nurses examined me and found a HAND! They immediately started running around and I heard them banging on the door where Dr. Jones was sleeping trying to wake him up (in the meantime he had delivered another baby a little earlier). They were concerned that we might have to do a C-section. He came in and turned her enough that we could go ahead with a natural delivery. For the next hour and a half I PUSHED...it felt like forever! Gav was so great, he and my nurse helped me breath and count through every contraction as I pushed, I have no idea what I would have done without them. I had heard stories about wives yelling at their husbands during labor, but all I could think of was how glad I was he was there! Every so often they would see more of her hand, so there was no question her little arm was coming out right next to her head. I found out later thats why pushing was so painful. Around 4:20 they yelled for Dr. Jones and after a few more minutes of pushing (I was so tired!), and at 4:35 she was HERE! 7 pounds 7 ounces, 19.5 inches long. Much sooner than anyone thought, and they said that since I was already having regular contractions my body just accepted the pitocin and sped along the process. I caught a glimpse of her as Dr. Jones carried her over to the warmer and my heart just flipped! Gav and I both couldn't hold back tears. I obviously was stuck, but Gav went over to watch while they cleaned her off and then they handed her to Gav, and he brought the little bundle over for me to see. I can't even describe that moment. It was so sweet and surreal. She was so beautiful and I loved her SO much, and she was OUR DAUGHTER. A few minutes later they let me nurse for the first time, and she immediately knew exactly what to do. She was quite aggressive, the nurses said they had never seen anything like it!

A bit later our families filed in to take a peek at their brand new little granddaughter/niece and she was wide awake looking around the entire time! I think they were all just as smitten as we were. :)

What an incredible miracle! We are so thankful, and God is SO good! We are crazy about our beautiful baby girl!

4 weeks old

Here are a few pics of our sweet baby girl in the past couple of weeks. I can't believe how much she is already changing!

Love her lil stocking cap!

Gettin ready for her doctors appointment

First Sunday to go to church!

Papa John and Uncle Keaton love her!

Grammy Pattie

As hard as it was for us to leave her even for a few hours, my parents watched her while Gav and I had some "us" time. She obviously wasn't hurting for attention :)

Hangin' with Poppy

I LOVE MY BABY GIRL :)

With aunties Arica and Lori

Giving mommy some kisses

Her first bath, after her cord finally fell out

First time to hang out in her big girl crib

"tryin to poop, mom!"

Quarter of a Century

Today marks my 25th year of life...hard to believe I have been on this earth that long! Time goes by so fast. Addie Kate is also 4 weeks old today, and that is also so hard to believe. She has already changed so much! She gets cuter and cuter every day, yet it is also a bit bittersweet that she is already getting bigger. Sigh!

I am remembering about a year and a half ago I was sitting in Pastor Ron's office with teary eyes and a fist full of kleenex talking about direction for my life. I remember being at a point of frustration concerning just what I supposed to be doing in the area of ministry and my career. Nothing terrible had happened, it was just one of those seasons where I was feeling a bit confused and foggy. I was really happy with my life with Gav, but lacked some direction about what exactly I should be doing or where I should be going in my future. A lot of my dilemma was centered around a huge desire to be more involved in ministry (Gav and I were and are still the leaders of the young adults ministry at church) but lacking the time and sometimes feeling extremely ill-equipped. I have heard the saying a million times, "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called", but for some reason that didn't help much at the time. Just one of those points where I started to wonder why I was in the position I was in, and feeling terribly inadequate and sort of....dried up. I had some frustrations with my job, Gav and I had been talking a lot about future plans for finances, children, etc at the same time as Gav had recently begun a very time consuming school program while working full time. So there were a lot of things that seemed to be weighing....finances/debt, Gav finishing school, wanting to start a family, trying to adjust to a huge decrease in my quality time with my hubby because of his schedule, leading a ministry....I guess it had just piled up. Anyway, I remember Pastor Ron sharing several passages of scripture with me and praying with me, and overall it was just really encouraging. However, one practical thing that really stands out in my memory is that he just really urged me to work on my faith factor and just trust that God had GOOD things in store for me, even though I may not know or understand how I was going to get there. He told me to pray specifically and expect answers. Seems like something that I should already be doing, but like anyone, I am a work in progress. :) My faith needed a little pick-me up after I had been so focused on so many things around me instead of trusting in the Lord. You have to know my Pastor, he is a guy who is all about goals, milestones, etc so he said to pray that I would come to a new fresh season of life by the time I was 25. (I was 23 at the time so that seemed a little far out....) He said he really felt that God was stirring up some things in my life because I would soon be entering a new season in several areas. I agreed. I didn't know what that meant, but I decided just to commit it to prayer and trust it to the Lord (multiple times, I might add....)

Well, I hadn't forgotten about that but had put it away just trusting that whatever it was, big or small, God would take care of it. Here I am, on my 25th birthday, and I as I sat down to blog about the big 2-5, I was reminded of the fact that God is so faithful! His timing is so perfect, and He definitely answers prayer. I am looking at my life right now in comparison to a year and a half ago, and the Lord has definitely brought me into a new, fresh season! First of all, I am a MOMMY! As I sit here on the couch typing away on my laptop, little Miss Addie Kate is a few feet away from me in her little swing, fast asleep. She is so beautiful. My heart is overwhelmed with love and gratitude. What a huge, unspeakable blessing. It is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I love it so much....what a great way for God to show us in an even bigger way just how much he loves US, His children.

Secondly, becoming parents has also brought a new season into Gav and I's marriage relationship. It is definitely an adjustment, but parenthood has brought a new level of intimacy, love, and kind of.....maturity, I guess, to our relationship. I thought there was no way I could be more crazy about my husband, but seeing him care so tenderly for our little girl and for me just makes me fall in love with him all over again in an even deeper way. It is truly amazing. I am also in a different job than I had when I was 23 that is much less stressful, and I will also be working only part time after I go back from maternity leave. Such a blessing!

Another thing that will come later this year is that Gav will GRADUATE on May 15 and finally, hopefully, go back to a halfway sane schedule that allows us to function normally again. The end is in sight, and I cannot wait!!

The time that has passed since that meeting with Pastor has been filled with a lot of different trials, hard lessons, lonely times, difficult transitions in friendships, family hardships, and growing pains. Don't get me wrong, there were lots of good times and blessings thrown in there, but it definitely has been a difficult couple of years for me personally just because I have been on a constant grow/stretch curve that was facilitated by lots of challenges. But...even in the midst of them and looking back the mountains that me and my family have climbed over (we're still on some of them and of course life is still full of them!) I can say that I am TRULY thankful and blessed.

What an amazing God we serve. No matter what happens or what we may see, He is still God and is bigger than everything. His plans are always good, even if they don't match our timing or ways. His are BETTER and oh, so much sweeter in the end!

Daddy's Little Girl

Dear Addie Kate -

I'm going to take just a minute to tell you about your Daddy. The pictures below barely need a description because it's just so obvious how much he loves you! We have been so excited from day one about your arrival. I still remember the day when I bounced onto the bed where your Dad was sleeping, got right in his face, and said, "I have to tell you something!!" He already knew what I was going to say before I said it because we had talked about how much we wanted a little baby. However, at that moment there is no way we could have known just how amazing, beautiful, and perfect you would be! What a miracle you are. We are amazed by you each and every day.

While I was pregnant with you, Daddy would put his hand on my tummy all the time and tell you how much we love you. We called you Peanut before we knew if you were a boy or girl, and it pretty much stuck throughout my pregnancy. Somewhere along the way, Daddy started calling you Binkster. I have no idea where he got that name, but he still calls you that! Binkster, "Little", and Addie Kate are the names he calls you the most. When you were born, Daddy helped sooooo much at the hospital. He held you all the time and followed the nurses when they took you to go get a bath and get some tests done. He also picked out your first little outfit that we bought for you, it says "Daddy loves me"...but it was too big for you to wear on your trip home. You are such a good baby! Since Mommy had to have a little bit of recovery time after you were born, Daddy helped so much by waking up at night to change you or give you a bottle. When you are in your swing, Daddy and I have a hard time walking by without stopping to give you kisses! Daddy always likes to make sure you have one of your little stocking caps on when you take a nap to make sure you don't get cold. He can't wait for the weather to get warmer because he is dying to take you out in the stroller he put together for you before you were born.

He is also so protective of you! He is very adamant that anyone who wants to hold you has to put on Germ-X...(mommy agrees). We aren't going to let people hold you or put you in the nursery at church for a little while yet just because you are still so tiny. We want to make sure you are safe and healthy! Daddy also went along to your first two doctor's appointments, and he didn't like to hear you cry when you were getting checked.

Little miss Addelyn, you are a blessed little girl to have such a wonderful man for a Daddy! Mommy is so thankful for him too. :)

2 weeks and counting!

So, my baby girl is now 2 weeks and 1 day old. Whew! It has been a bit of a whirlwind, time has really flown. Gavin started back to class on Tuesday (although he had a snow day today!) and goes back to work on Saturday. I can't even tell you how wonderful it has been to have him at home with Addelyn and I since she has been born. He has been such a huge help. Especially those first few days when we were home from the hospital, I seriously don't know what I would do without him. This might sound crazy, but one morning after feeding Addie Kate I was laying in bed with Gav and just could not hold back the tears when I was hugging him and telling him how much I was just so thankful for him. My heart is overwhelmed with how thankful I am for my wonderful husband. I mean that with all of my heart. While I was in the hospital, he held Addelyn a lot and is so protective of her! He was constantly getting things for me when I needed it. He was so great through my labor and delivery even though he had no idea what to expect, and also helped to entertain visitors when I was out of it. The first day after I had her and the anesthesia had worn off were a little tough as I had some pain and it was hard to get around. The morning of the day we left the hospital (Christmas Eve), I was relieved to be able to take a shower. Gav had to help me a little getting in and out, and if this is TMI I apologize, but I will never forget when I he was helping me with my towel he told me I looked really beautiful and I wanted to cry! It meant so much to me. I think every woman probably experiences the utter self-awareness of her body after being pregnant for nine months...well, I am no different. Although I was elated about our new little baby girl, I did not feel the least bit attractive with my now-flabby belly. He said just what I needed to hear. :)

The past two weeks have been good, but definitely an adjustment! I LOVE being a mommy and lil Addie Kate is such a good baby. She only cries when she is wet/dirty, hungry, is getting her diaper changed, or needs to be burped. Other than that I she is rarely fussy. I love her so much and I could kiss her all the time! Her daddy is quite smitten with her, as well as all of her grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We think she is the most precious little thing EVER! Even as I am sitting here on the couch typing, I can look over and see her peacefully sitting in her swing. Sigh. I am in love. :)

So, a lot has transpired in the past couple of weeks. I will try to update. As for her birth story, I will save that for another post. We got out of the hospital on Christmas Eve, came home, and crashed! The next morning we ventured out to my parent's house for brunch. It was probably a little bit risky on my part as I was really tired and sore, but I was determined to go...I haven't spent Christmas morning with them for the past several years so I was really excited to see them! We bundled up Miss Addelyn and made our way to her first outing. As tired as I was, it was so good to see them and little Miss quickly stole the show. She also received her first stocking in which both of my parents wrote her the sweetest letters. I will be saving them for her! Poppy and Grandma are pretty taken with their first little granddaughter. :) Later after breakfast, I ended up falling asleep on the couch for a couple of hours, which I felt terrible for but everyone seemed pretty compassionate :). That afternoon, Gav's mom and her sister Debbie came to visit...it was Pattie's first time holding her since she had been sick when Addelyn was born. Since we hadn't been able to make it to all of the family gatherings, they brought a bunch of gifts to us and Gav & I opened them here at home. We are so blessed to have such awesome family!

Other than that, we have just been trying to adjust to having a little person in our household. We are absolutely crazy about her...perhaps we are the typical biased parents, but we say all the time we can't believe how beautiful she is! I am still getting the hang of breastfeeding and have had some trouble with that, but I am bound and determined to stick with it because it is so healthy for her. The hardest part would probably be sleep deprivation...people always told me, "sleep when she sleeps!"...and that is SO true. This past week I also started pumping, so Gav has been getting up once during the night to feed her with a bottle so I can get a few solid hours of sleep, and that has helped a lot. I really love being her mommy! She is even cute when she cries, and her little facial expressions make my heart melt. What a blessing and miracle it is to be parents! There is really nothing like it....and I don't think I would have understood it before she was actually here. It's amazing. Our families have also been SO incredibly helpful...Gav's parents came over and made us some yummy lasagna, my mom and Ariana came over and helped me to catch up on laundry and watched Addie Kate for a little while so Gav and I could catch up on some sleep, my sisters have visited and brought food, and several ladies at church were so sweet to bring meals for us as well. My parents also offered to come and watch her for a little bit so that Gav and I can go for coffee or dinner just to have some "us" time. As much as we love being with our sweet baby girl, I think we're going to take them up on it tomorrow night so we can catch up and have a bit of quality time. I am just so thankful to everyone for their love, prayers, gifts, and support, it has been overwhelmingly great!

I have been taking lots of pictures (imagine that!) so you will have to scroll a bit for this post! Enjoy the pictures, there are lots more to come.

Proud grandparents

So, these are a little out of order...just 2 days old, arriving at my parents house on Christmas Day

Gav and I just in the door...you can tell my dad is more happy to see the baby! haha (he is looking at the pumpkin seat on the floor with her in it)

All bundled up...we had a white Christmas!

Cute little sleeper with matching mittens and bow. We keep those on her because she keeps scratching her little face!

Three generations.

Opening gifts.

Cuddling with her Auntie Lori!

Auntie Ariana

I love snuggling her!

Chillin with Poppy

So sweet!

I love this picture :)

Fast asleep with daddy.

Sleep smiles.

Pretty in pink.

We like to play dress up with her :)

First time in her swing

Some of the flowers we received at the hospital. The gerbera daisies were from Gav :)

Grammy Pattie and Aunt Deb came to visit on Christmas Day afternoon

They love her!

Proud Grammy

Being cute is exhausting!

We can't stop looking at her :)

As you can see, I'm making good use of our new camera (and still trying to figure it out, so bear with me on the quality of the photos). Many more to come!